..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
even my farts smell like vagina
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
