nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
