I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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