she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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