if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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