whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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