"it" just moved
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
