oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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