Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
