end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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