Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it was like eating out sand paper
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
