So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
