Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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