so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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