he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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