Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
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HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sorry about my life...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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