i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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