i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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