All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
