the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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