I CAN MOONWALK!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Come see our sink grown plant.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
