He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
