I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
