I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
