just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
