I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
