I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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