I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
