defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
