I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
