How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
