Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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