we have officially lost it.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
