oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize