Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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