I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
home. puking in laundry basket.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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