it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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