Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I need to sanitize my soul.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
