Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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