he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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