no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
