We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i will never coherently bang her
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize