i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
