is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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