And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
