i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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