If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
