why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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