my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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