I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
