...so i touched it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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