Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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