distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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