you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize