Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize