ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize