TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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