the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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