a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize