..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
