Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
