We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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