i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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