Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
